UU Board Last Meeting

I have been on the UU board for 3 years and tonight was my last meeting; it went from 6 to 9:30 pm. I took goodies and some flowers to everyone...they brought me a tart with strawberries and a sweet card and they appalled at the end...I am going to miss everyone..they have always been so supportive of my journey; I made the motion to have UUFF agree to sign a letter to our major regarding an ordinance re G/L/B/T and have the UUFF vote on it at our annual board meeting on June 1. Yea Team! Finally they did it....Portland elected in a new gay mayor...it is happening all over. The picture is of "Son" who got placed in his new home on Monday night; I just wanted everyone to see his pix too. I miss all of them...I keep seeing them in all their old hants...by the front door, purring, rubbing up against the wall....they brought me so much love and sweetness.

Sara Wins Big

Sara won the mayors post tonight by 65%...change is coming to Flag; went to the Democratic party re "Sara" watch...about 6:30---Ian announced she won! JR came from Prescott and was nice to see him; i saw so many people and was able to tell them about Portland and say goodbye....had coffee with a afterwards. so it has been a big day and I am tired but so excited!

it is unreal--how time flies!

just can't believe how time is rapidly getting faster and faster; signed the house over to a property manager...that is a huge relief...now I can actually turn to other things I have to do to "get out of town"---considering this change of events I think I can leave on June 1 as previously planned.....he actually is a sweet guy and he bought something from the garage sale already! who would have known....so, off to my last democratic event in flag tonight...watch the returns for our mayoral race...and of course, Oregon...I feel like a race horse now....coming down the last lap...(or turning the corner to get to the last lap)...it will all be ok charchar---you did not come this far to have it not continue to be wonderful.....if my three kids are online right now just know I am thinking of all of you in your new "cat houses"...so to speak. Got to be humorous. I actually planted these bulbs last fall and THEY COME UP FROM UNDER THE SNOW...what a treat...they were planted in honor of my mom. The first pix is at my retirement party at NAU on 5/2...my social work faculty....not really my, but you know what I mean...we look great don't we.

61 Ways to Say I Love You

What shall I think about and do in the next two weeks? 1. drive to the peaks, 2. gather some sage, 3. watch the moon and stars, 4. make sure to say I love you to those I am around; 5. give thanks to all those who are around; 6. pray, 7. smell, touch, love, sing, dance on mother earth here, 8. give the sky a big hug, 9. smile, 10. laugh, 11. cry, 12. pack, 13. listen, 14. think of all the joy and love that flag has brought to my life in so many ways (human, animal, plants, sky, stars, other beings), 15. train, 16. sunset, 17. the tender paws of Ophie, Son, and Baby Son; 18. the sweet barking of Libby; 19. the love from Ruby, 20. giving thanks to L2 for all the listening and acceptance of my heart, mind, body, spirit in three years; 21. pictures of Ascona Way, 22. acceptance of change and new love in my life of new places, people, and things; 23. acceptance of my loss of t; 24. loving her as she is; 25. loving me as I am; 26. saying goodbye to those who I have loved and cared for; 27. let go, 28. let goddess, 29. self care, 30. be gentle, 31. love those at uu and your home there; 32. know that the tears you have are to help ease the pain of leaving; 33. be present to all that is around you; 34. all will be well; 35. it is the way it is suppose to be; 36. tell z thank you for his empathic listening; 37. letting go of all the "things" is a good thing; 38. be open to all the lessons that are being given to you now; 39. it is a very special time; 40. your journey is taking you to a wonderful new place; 41. your circle of life is being shown to you in so many ways; 42. rumi; 43. thank you to ali, carol, bren 44. thank you to deb, maria, becky, 45. thank you to all those who I have not thought of right now. 46. barb:love; 47. last year served its purpose to let you go into another world; 48. i lov you charchar. 49. listen more; 50. pray more; 51. i lov u L1; 52. thank u to nau for the last 21 years; 53. thank you to all the students who have taught me so much; 54. listen to your internal wisdom; 55. forgive; 56. and to the silence that provides the way...57. play; 58. art; 59. walk in beauty; 60. registrar to vote; 61. love your humor. Adios to Flag and Hola to Portland!

party time

Friday went to b house for a fun party with all the l in town...long talk with p and others about me moving...bought a bottle of champanye and shared it with everyone to say goodbye; a did a very sweet "toast" to me...Sat...worked like a dog yesterday on the house with a and h...we got so much done; the garage is now in zones...house is feeling so empty...went shopping with a and bought some nice professional clothes; a is a great sister...my friend v came and got my bed tonight..so I will be sleeping on the living room floor on a blow up mattress with son...he is going to c house on Monday evening..packing and more packing...tiny decisions over and over again...it is so tiring--but really feels good to get rid of so much...how could i have so much...i will be leaving numerous boxes here...MY FEET HURT..

Baby Son to NACA

took bs to naca yesterday and the entire staff came out to the parking lot to see him; could not get Son into the cat carrier considering he was lost in the house...called c today and bs is doing pretty good; I will be taking Son to naca tomorrow. got word from b that Ophie is doing pretty good all in all; she is starting to venture out of the guest room; b is allowing her to be as shy as she needs to be; total acceptance of her...i have been packing all day....m came over in the afternoon to talk; made her an Italian soda...i don't have the ingredients down yet; had a very nice dinner with j,m, and c....talked a lot about moving, friends, parties, places we have lived...we almost closed the place down...so doing pretty well....z said he could not rent the house so on to plan b...renting it to others...placed an ad on Craig's list and got an email from someone this evening. i may stay another week considering having to get this place in shape for renters...so life is showing me the way... So Son will be leaving tomorrow and it makes me very sad...I will be all alone then..their spirits will be here and in my heart all the time.

ophie to becky

Guess what happened last night: IT SNOWED. Woke up to several inches on the ground...that's flag for you....ANYWAY.... The saga of Ophie and her going to aunt b....it took two of us to get her into her carrying case....long story...I drove her and she meowed the entire way, of course. got to b and she stayed in her little storage unit...and the other cats (b has 9 others) started to come by and look at her---b will be wonderful to her...i wrote b a "Life History of Ophie" and b really loved it and laughed throughout it...so, she is with b now....i have been crying all day...and when i got home i was suppose to take Son and BS to another adoptive home and they could not be found too; I guess O left a newspaper announcement for her siblings...but they eventually came home--the placement will be tomorrow when i can get some rest...it is so emotional; i am really happy so to speak that i am doing this early and not at the last minute...placing my kids! Someone bought the coffee maker....I think I will take the speciality coffee maker to P with me; it makes single cups of interesting coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. cozy to the ultimate. I am getting tired and starting to feel it all over....this is a big job! So many emotions and thoughts...l has been calling almost daily and that is helping me a lot...she is so loving and positive. I adore this picture---like the rez but it is in Tibet---certainly takes my mind off all the work stuff...riding a sheep/ram? I made my first official appointment at PSU for 7/10 at noon....it is happening....unreal.

eihpo: ophie--stones for her!

Running Around 4 Ophie

Ophie has her own mind and she is deciding when she is leaving...she got out last night and stayed away all day until about 7 pm tonight; I called her so many times and I was afraid she had run away....she came back. Went to NACA and said goodbye to drb...what a gem she is. will miss her! Got calls from pdx re some future business ---it is so exciting to be getting ready for a new job after 21 years! Saw jp re $$$$ ---went to credit unions---banks---taking care of business...goodness it is getting closer each day...i am going to finish the 3rd bedroom tonight; that is my goal....i did pretty good with my food today....don't forget to take care of charchar....char

Almost

Happy Mother's Day to All of Our Mothers...Leslie Snow Goodluck in particular. Ophie decided not to go today...I am happy that did not happen cuz we had more quality time together tonight. Son is on my desk right now sitting between the monitor and the keyboard. Love him....love them all....typed a list of what needs to be done in the next three weeks...UKS....very emotional time at uu this am...lunch with m and j...some packing in the garage, painting doors, taking stuff out of the garage. r next door bought the compter desk...the "train" has started to leave and I am on it...no turning back now...go forward to a new life Charlotte...yea! really tired due to all of the mixed emotions from today....up and down; up and down...I am going to go to bed early and try to get more sleep...it will all happen Char..

A Major Milestone/Ode to Ophie

A Major Milestone: This is my first day of my "retirement" from NAU...plus, c gave me a party with b and a...balloons, salmon, pie....many prayers for my new adventure and lots of love. A came over and helped me with the garage this afternoon; b was here in the am and bought the bike and put it in storage; the swing went today...more calls about items on craigslist etc...so, very busy working hard on packing, sorting, tossing, and talking, laughing, crying, wondering.....so just darn tired tonight...excitement and fear all together...feeling much serenity because of yesterday and what happened with t...it feels wonderful not to be leaving on such bad terms...I think we both needed to talk and hold on.... Ode to Ophie: Ophie (all black, long silky hair, green eyes) is by my side in my office taking a nap near the printer...purring...she is going to b tomorrow on Mother's Day...I love her dearly....want her to be safe, loved, cared for, appreciated, and have the ability to go outside and enjoy her life as a "inside-outside" kitty cat. She has brought me so much love, acceptance, sweetness, her cute habit of rubbing her jaw on my finger, making clicking noises, joy, laughter, kisses, playfulness, shyness, and pure love. I love u Ophie....forever.

thank you HP

thank you hp for a very sweet goodbye...

Good Bye to My Sweet Kitties....

Today I am taking Son and Baby Son to their new home on the east side of town...Baby Son is looking out my office windwo and walking on my desk, getting in front of me and looking at me and the computer; licking his lips; Ophie is coming into my office; Baby Son is rubbing my hand on the computer looking at me; I just tolaok several videos of all three of them; they want me to let them outdoors; he is now exactly in fromt of my computer monitor...yes, they do have their ways of gettigng theeir needs meet; they ask of it..what a concept....I love all of you...his tail is wrapped around his paws; Opie is sitting by my door looking at me all curled up...such cat behavior...I love all of you...Son in on my bed napping....off to see z at brandy's this morning...I need to be open about what he is going to say...no expectations....

Packing My SBS Office

Just finished packing my SBS office---11 boxes + some other stuff; m came by and say goodbye; what a lovely person he is...looking out of my office window...green, pine trees, a few clouds, the grass is green in the area below my window; a bit windy...no one is here just me...all my walls are bare, good bye to mis-match office furniture, I am not sure what I will do with my rug...??? oh well...just heard that the Dean approved a national search to replace my position! Yea....life does go on..thank you hp for all the new opportunties and for my wonderful career at NAU---a student in my SW370 wrote me a sweet note and said I "emit a beautiful and peacefull light the makes you rise head and shoulders above the rest"...what a wonderful send off from my students...thank you, e.....

Thank You NACRP

Thank you to everyone who was at the dinner tonight..I love my silver/gold necklace, pin, and earrings....they are OUTSTANDING! So unique and special just like all of you...blessings to all of you.

This is How I Feel Today!

NACRP Dinner & Going Away Party: Tonight

This is the new NAU High Country Inn and Conference Center---NACRP is having a going away dinner for me and our students. Thank you to m for all of your planning, love, and support... I know we will continue to be friends..just in different states! Two parties in one week so I certainly feel blessed, loved, and appreciated. Off to more packing and packing and packing!!!!!!

A Roller Coaster

Up and Down...all day...all night....this is work. Selling all kinds of stuff; took my Spanish final both written and oral today...did ok. Professor congrat..me and shook my hand...that felt good. I just studied today and did not drive myself crazt over the weekend..a first for me...I was calm during the orals and I really did well if I do say so myself. lots of feelings re o and her path...putting her needs first and foremost...she needs to be outside! So that will determine my decision re her future.

Charlotte's New Hogan

Riverplace Square overlooks THE RIVER and I can see a Portland Bridge! This is a model of the living room...tiny but cozy. Within a block or so I can take the streetcar to PSU...what a new life I am starting....what fun! (As someone said to me several weeks ago: "Charlotte you are a city girl!!!") We will see!

Professor Charlotte Goodluck's Retirement at The Inn

The Dept of Sociology and Social Work is having a retirement reception for me at The Inn...I invited many people from the university and other community friends. This is a big day for me. I have been with NAU for 21 years! I can't believe it actually. Thank you NAU for hiring me in 1987 and for letting me work for you. Thank you to all the students whom I had the pleasure of teaching and learning from....Thank you to all the faculty whom I have interacted with on all the committees etc.... Special thanks to the Social Work Program for all that you have done for me over the years and the many life long friendships I will have. I love you all! May We All Walk in Beauty. My dear cousin, bj came as a surprise...she said a prayer in Navajo and it was so beautiful...Lots of people attended this event (UU, Demo, Friends, Dept)...then we went to b house for dinner and stayed up until 1:30 AM--what a time I had...thank you everyone...

Larger Than Life Bookstore

went to Powells today and you know bookstore is large when you get a interior map of the building with all the sections indicated by a certain color...unreal place. Ode to this bookstore! I am feeling so over stimulated with all the new places, faces, transportation....and just starting to view apartments. L has been in Chicago and she is coming back tonight...yea! good nite...it started out cold but as the day progressed it got warmer....this is certainly going to be the biggest change...oh well....this desert rate can take it...so..."the times they are changing"

597sq feet

I went looking today for apartments in downtown p...omg....sticker shock...the first place was basically the size of a shoe box..seriuosly, the next one was more like a carry over from my past (a long time ago)...so, wish me luck...I hope tomorrow will be more fruitful...the first one was 21 stories up. brand new, nice view of the river and both mountains BUT IT IS LIKE A MATCHBOX WITH A VIEW....it is two blocks from my new job...so...so, I really need to find other places that I can at least fit my kitchen table in plus one chair....HELP HP....Also, I walked so much today that I can barely walk or move right now....so, that is a great part of potentially living downtown but I need to work up to it...PRAY FOR ME. Send square feet to me....really lovely to spend time with d and h today...d is a wonderful cook...h is certainly growing up...she is so cute and such a wonderful kid...just love her..

Portland or Bust

I am flying to Portland tomorrow and I am thrilled to see l,d,h...a time to find a place to live....the transition is happening...went to my last soc/sw faculty meeting today and brought everyone pizza...w gave me a big bear hug afterwards and I started to cry and b gave me a bigger hug! She understood the full meaning of this last meeting for me. People are coming by, sending me e-mails, phone calls to let me know how they are feeling...everyone basically is very happy and see it as a wonderful opportunity for me but it is still a loss...AND A HUGE CHANGE FOR ME in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. I am transplanting myself and starting a new adventure in my life...as b said last night; "I am reinventing myself"....I like that image. So, wish me luck with my apartment looking with I get to Portland. Walk in Beauty

A Poem For My Friends/A Dine Woman Blessing

Sweet Poem from bg If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you And share with you its beauty On the days you're feeling blue. If I could build a mountain You could call your very own; A place to find serenity, A place to be alone. If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea, But all these things I'm finding Are impossible for me. I cannot build a mountain Or catch a rainbow fair, But let me be what I know best, A friend who's always there. As you have been for me.

In NAU News Today

Good luck, Charlotte Charlotte Goodluck, professor of social work, is retiring after 21 years at NAU. A reception in her honor is scheduled from 4 to 6 p.m. Friday, May 2, at The Inn at NAU. What an honor....

It Is Happening All Around Me-All The Time-I Am Moving

Boxes all around me now! A said I need to return at least once a year to THE PLACE. Touch the earth, say a prayer, and take it into my spirit and heart...yes, she gets it! I feel between flying and floating and landing and taking off all at the same time. It will all work out. l was very reassuring today...she gets it too. Started my steps today (4500) and logging my food...self care....Driving home tonight from the other side of town...the moon is full tonight...so beautiful...love it. La Luna! La Luna! Thank you to HP for all these gifts of life, love, and laughing...I am moving to a city with 7 urban bridges! and Mt. Hood.

Old Friends Return to Hopi

My dear and longtime friends, a and b have returned to Hopi. We had bkfast at Brandy's and just talked and talked...they both look really good....lov them both. Been packing all day. I have had six individuals look at my furniature re Craig's list...so thanks to a for listing my stuff; sold one bookcase. Slowly but surely it is happening..c came over for a visit...so, let go and more let go....

Closing Shop

Helped MM today to move from north campus to a dorm near the Inn. I am going to miss her so much; went to Zane Gray with C and A tonight and just talked and talked....just love them both...might have a home for S and BS....it is going to take me some time to get use to that idea--S & BS going to another family....slow down cg..it will all be ok and actually WONDERFUL. The wood for the living room arrived today at Homedepot...yea! z will be putting it in prety soon....

YouTube - America in a Different Mirror with Ron Takaki

YouTube - America in a Different Mirror with Ron Takaki

Yellow Joy

What a treat to go outside this morning and see the flowers from the bulbs I planted last fall; they are real and beautiful and pure. Life and the will to grow in spite of snow, snow, snow, cats, dogs, people, heat, bugs, fear, loss, noise, train noises, cars going by, lunar eclipes, stars, grass, rocks, drainage problems, crying, you name it and THOSE SWEET BLUBS HAVE GIVEN US LIFE AND COLOR! What joy! Thank you to mother earth and father sky. My mother used to plant blubs; it just took me a bit longer...these are in her honor! thank you to hp for them coming up while I am still here to witness the process.....

Who Discovered TMJ? & Why Do I Have it Now?

Unreal to have TMJ---my right jaw is in so much pain I can barely move my jaw or eat or smile or yell or almost anything to do with my jaw...I have never had such an affiction....it may be caused by STRESS...which I have a lot of lately. OMG what a pain it is! Even flossing hurts....that is way too much information isn't it? Dear friend, sh was in town tonight; so nice to laugh and talk with her about me being "transplanted" to Portland....My bulbs in the front are about ready to BLOOM. What fun that will be....I planted them last fall and now they are almost ready to show their stuff...the buds look yellow....maybe within the next day or so...life coming up from the earth! Thanks to I for getting my computer working again..what a friend to have. Love H's hair cut...looks so cute...(PS...I forgot to tell you that I received an A on my last Spanish test)...so happy...yo tengo muy feliz. I think that is the way, but not sure....that is why I am in the 101 class. Adios and hasta manana!

Who in the world said to do this? in one semester!

retire relocate travel interview take a spanish class get a new job PACK say good bye say hi may 24th leave UU leave Democ adios to ll rent house get house goodbye to l artbychar blog read blogs do art sell on craigslist sell on nau classified keep up with nau job keep up with nacrp water the plants self care plan for every detail address change new bank new medical it goes on and on! contact movers feed and love furry beings basically---CHANGE MY ENTIRE LIFE! what is all of this? or who is trying to do this? and WHY AND WHY NOT! OMG SEND HELP, RELIEF, FRIENDS, SUPPORT, HUGS, LOVE, EMAILS, CALLS, FUZZY STUFF, JOY, HUMOR, GUIDANCE, BOXES, MEALS, ETC. DITTO, DITTO, DITTO

yo hablo espanol....si y no

Had my third test in my Spanish class and I think I did much better than the last time; (or I hope so!). Went to the UU Board meeting tonight and they are making plans for June and July and I will not be here...that feels odd! I will be in Portland...my last meeting will be in May...spent most of the day studying Spanish...it snowed today! That sure is Flag in April! Just don't know what is going to happen....anyway nite nite---lov the chicken, l, d, and h! Flag allows them in the city too...I love chickens! Maybe I will have some in the apartment/condo??? that would be so funny....

Can't Believe It: I am Moving 2 h20

I started to pack and now my house is starting to have several "bare walls" ...selling furniture on craig'slist seems to be working...had a call from the ad within 2 hours; sold some stuff to an ole friend from the Flag A Club--tv, dresser, etc. drove to sedona over weekend to sell an item to a person there; what an adventure this is becoming; I decided to get rid of most of my stuff and start a new up there....no more ugly, used stuff...spent most of day with b due to a dog bite she got last night from walking her dog, c...who just had surgery on his leg...trying to study for a espanol exam tomorrow but having a hard time concentrating anymore...I think I will leave most of my stuff here so I don't have to worry about getting a place large enough...will be going to p at the end of april to look for a place with l and d. what a change this is going to be; everyone wishing me the best of luck and saying it is a great opportunity--I agree but it will be up and down with saying goodbye and making new friends in a completely new place...looking at apartments, condos, townhouses, etc. so life is full! very excited to say the least! friends are leaving empty boxes on my front yard so that is really helping me...packing a few boxes each day so it will not be so crazy at the end...or at least I hope not...good nite

NAU Retirement Dinner

Talked with NAU benefits this morning and they told me that NAU was holding their retirement party at Forest Highlands...I went with Maria and Bren...it was a wonderful event; saw others from SBS; had an outstanding time; they gave me a present that was a beautiful cherry wood box with a picture of Ole Main on the front and a mirror on the inside and a box area to put stuff; I love it. Everyone is so excited about my new adventure; mixed of course, both sad and happy for me. I basically had a great time in spite of only hearing about it this morning; they had my bio in an insert in the program and it was very nice; Ron Pit forgot to say my name and Bren went over to the BIG table and he then remembered to call me; they announced I was going to Portland State University to be "the chair" of a new social work department" (kinda right but not; so cute); I stood next to President Haegar and a professional photographer took our picture. We had salmon and beef and cheesecake...I gave flowers to several people as my gift to them---a lovey night! Saw Karen Pugelisi, Suzanne Maxwell (she reminded me that I saw her in a park in Portland); Larry Gould and many others. I am really tired but so excited at the same time; Warren my chair sent an email to everyone this afternoon about me retiring...! Had a call from Becky and an email from Karla tonight...I am thrilled about it all...it feels so right now. Thank you HP....

YES

yes, this is the day.....will share more later...went to our UU stewartship dinner and sat with bren---then went to the wine loft for a birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALI-- with c...great conversation and lots of laughing...what a trio we are...feel really wonderful today...yes, yes, si, si, yes, yes...."beatles---want to change the world"

getting closer & pandas are really cute: Looking at you! (l & h)

talked with w today; it will be real very soon; started to go through some boxes in the garage today; volunteered for the demo today at the home show at nau. really liked seeing so many people, c went with me for awhile. falling asleep so need to go to my bedroom and GO TO SLEEP..what a concept...son, baby son, and opie will be there too...the humanist organization on Nightline sure looks and sounds like uu folks; how we originally came from nau 50 years ago.

Beauty Way & Ascona Way: Walking in Beauty

"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." --J.B. Priestley

oh my goddess

All I can say is "oh my goddess" ditto about 1,000 times + 1. Little did I ever image what door/window would open after the event of 2007. A glorious, beautiful, wonderous, delightful, fun, artistic, playful, green, water, boats, bridges, lite rail, loving family, ocean, rain, parks, roses, festivals, books, prayerful, progressive, urban, new, indigenous, water falls, and new adventures would happen......!!! can hardly contain myself....more later, that is just the beginning.....

It is Tomorrow Already...off to Phx

I just love these images; all from different sites on the web...just love the colors, softness, lighting, circles....thank you hp for bringing art into my life...there will be more pretty soon...

Full Moon In Iraq

This is the 5th anniversary of the war in Iraq; went to a vigil at Flag city hall with about 85 others. Candles, circles, crying, caring, cuddling, and prayers for the people who have suffered; I said look at the Luna and that all the men and women in Iraq are looking at the same Moon tonight (Full) and that we are all related and that something good will happen sometime. Afterwards, went to j and m house and had tea and girl scout cookies...love them....talked about my new plans. It is starting to feel more like it will happen...I am actually starting to talk about being there...wow! yikes! oh my goodness!!!!

big decisions....be yourself, char

No matter what you decide it will be the right one; you deserve to do this; we know it will be ok no matter what you do; asked for prayers and good thoughts today at UU; took a long nap this afternoon....this is hard....talked alot with c and b about it; they were so helpful in helping me with my fear....a jewel box; ---so be nice to yourself, Char...it will be all ok.

big decisions

big decisions will be made in a few days....hp please help me...

its all about the proposal this week

this has been quite a week; all about THE MONSTER PROPOSAL..and writing and more writing and more wwww...you get the picture. j and his twins took m and b to breakfast this am...that was fun. been at the NACRP office alot...supporting m all i can..what a trooper...anyway..spring is around the corner ---later

yea hilary--u go girl

she is fighter....i am happy she won tonight...she needed this! we need her!

today

z working hard putting in a new drainage system in the front yard...nice having a friendly person around who is a kind, sweet, and just a nice guy....big decisions in the next few days...help me hp....off to espanol class now...adios...later, hasta la manana...ser (to be)--

Tucson + Flag: Long Day

Up at 4:30am...too early then went back to sleep; finally...long day with nacrp and lots of disagreements with other members...did not see d and drove back to flag about 11:00am--had to stop to take a nap...my self care has really sliped away..i want to return to feeling better about myself...got home about 5:30 pm and went to bed for a semi nap...with baby son and son...the front is certainly getting fixed up...lots of the snow has melted and the front yard is all dug up...seeing lots of progress....z does such nice work...really happy to be home but just too tired...need to get the carpet out of my bedroom...yuck....i am all over the place right now...looking forward to getting a good nite's sleep....just happy to be home...again...the drive to T was nice due to the flowers blooming near the roadway...little yellow flowers and birds singing in Tucson. that always makes me remember living in phx so long ago.

Go Hilary---

Prayers for Hilary re her continued run..."First Woman President"---do u see me in this photo of NACRP faculty and staff last year? Today it was 70+ degrees in Flag....I started my packing for my Tucson trip this weekend; need to pack less warm clothes and toss in lighter outfits..went to a presentation tonight from a Chinese gay actor...he was so funny and gave lots of encouragement to "the youth" in the audience. z is working on the drainage in the front part of the house; the snow is melting and it felt like SPRING TODAY. My relationship with food right now seems to be more in keeping with how I was last year; less tension oriented and less need to overeat due to my feelings. Had dinner with m & j and practiced reading espanol with m for while. I love them both...Spoke with l1 tonight; her mom died one year ago; L1 is so kind, loving, and a true sister.....thank you L2 for being u. lov nite nite

Hilary's Last Stand

Just watched the 20th "debate"...Her problem is that she keeps trying to show everyone how hard she is and will work for us but that is not working; however, Obama talks to every one's heart and head. I heard recently that in Chinese the word "Hope" means "medicine" so maybe that is what our country needs. I feel sorry for Hilary but she is a great leader and by her just running for president MAKES HISTORY. I still think she represents a PC computer and he a IMAC...she is a trusted, hard working, functional, reliabe but he is fresh, innovative, passion oriented,and hears the youth and their voice. So enough about my political views....z will be coming over tomorrow to work on the drainage system in the front; the kitchen lights went out last nite and I called him and he came over to see what happened. We had a great conversation, what a terrific human being. The artwork was obtained from the internet; I don't know the artist's name but want to give credit.

love this quote

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. Martin Luther King, Jr.

exam 1 in espanol

well i did better than i thought i would...i got a "B"---that is fine with me. crazy evening; went to lonetree campus for a slide show re another country and it was changed to 4th street; it was snow-raining so i just decided to go home; rats..still tired from my trip to portland over the weekend...be open char--ok

hvday2_14_08

c left me a message on my cell wishing me a hvd...so sweet so i asked her over to have dinner; had a delightful time; talking and laughing and watched tv; it snowed lots today; bought myself a plant; reached out and had a nice evening...thank g it is over...very hard day re s bill...self care, start with something small...next door neighbor did my driveway...I did ask but he did it...a hugh help...i did some of the shoveling and my back and neck are hurting...will pack tomorrow...getting excited...c will take care of my cats; so, nite nite

Almost fainted

t sent me an e-mail and she said "thank you"---this is the first positive word (s) she has said to me since nov, 2007. over a phone bill..oh well...Wed had my first spanish 101 exam..i studied really hard but I have no idea how I did. the teacher did not keep students quiet and several of us were not done; that made me angry cuz it was not respectful of our needs; i stayed a few minutes afterwards to finish the exam; then off to a uu board meeting---i only have 3 more board meetings...off in june...yea! off to portland on sat...to see l1. owning the power to direct your destiny...i am doing that now...nite or bueas noches....las doce y qunice son las manana--yo soy responsable y intelligente...muy ???? so up late to bring in feb14...what a year this has been; now i understand why t sent me a basketful of food, fruit, crackers, candy to my office with a note that was signed "lots of love,t"---she knew...she had never sent me any food products generally it was red roses with a romatic card...she was detached and leaving---oh what a year that was...thank g it is over now...i will never love XXX again...that was it. and now I am free of her rejection and not being present for me in so many ways; thank you g for sending her away...it (she) was not good for me. she is with another person now with l...hope she is finally happy; she certainly was not with me to say the least...adois....

the day after

I am wiped out today--so much happened yesterday from the wonderful UUFF 50th anniversary to seeing so many people, ushering, meeting people for breakfast and lunch...singing, laughing, eating, listening, and thinking....j from pv came up and it was his first time at UUFF; what a way to see what it all about; sweet person; l was up from BC; saw bb....watched the 50th anniversary of the Grammy's...so yesterday was all about 50! Also remembering the big party t gave me when I turned 50--have a conference call re sw in few minutes then i have to do my homework for my spanish class....yesterday was like spring in Flag....sunny, warmer, snow melting, and just beautiful! so, hello to my dear family in portland..see u soon. later, from charchar

50 years of Flag UUFF

Went to a circle of friends at UU to hear about the development of UU in Flag from 50years ago....what a speical event. Laughter, joy, and sweetness....tomorrow the big celebration at DuBois at NAU....a real treat...so wonderful to be a part of this historical event....nite nite

Acceptance is . . . . .

good day...at nacrp today with m. did not go to sleep until 2 AM....worked on the new revisions of the paper...life is all about acceptance....even if we don't want it to be! darn it anyway....the more I want to resist the more I will have to accept and be open to the new doors of my life; let go and let goddess...what a concept...over and over again and again...ok lesson!

A New Friend: Jeff

Yesterday was Super Tuesday and I went to Charley's to see other democratic folks; I got there about 5:45 and waited and waited and waited...looking around for others; no one..so I decided to just sit by myself at a table (no one else was there) and waited; had some water......then a young man came in and was wandering around too; he asked if I was there re the democratic party get together and I said yes....he sat down across from me and we started a grand conversation....so a new friendship has been started....it was really fun, funny, serious, political, energizing, and just delightful....hp has given me a new friend....we ate and were the only ones in the resturant for about an hour...then we wandered around looking for others; saw d and m and then got together with a few more demos and watched the later part of the elections....so, you never know what is going to happen. I invited him and his partner and 2 children to the UU event on Sunday and they will be attending...the new doors in my life are getting very interesting...I wonder what else is in store??? I just have to stay open and not be angry or hateful but be grateful for all that has happened in my life; there is a big lesson I am suppose to learn from t leaving and I am open to learning them! thank you hp. Taught sw220 this afternoon and then had my spanish class...pretty tired but I do love seeing the students and my spanish class is very enjoyable; got the results back from my first oral exam and I got 23 out of 25 "Bien" from the instructor....hasta manana or adios....carlota

Snow Angels: Thank You

Monday we had a huge snow storm...foot of snow all around my house....I was in for the day or maybe week...too much to shovel...then I heard shuffling...I looked outside and 5 young men were shoveling outside....my dear friend r sent them over...so this is my lesson to love and accept missionaries no matter what my previuos thoughts were earlier....just thought a sermon w gave a couple weeks ago about something similiar...ok, got it hp...!! let go and let goddess I now refer to them as 'the Snow Angels".....one from Chinle, Canada, all around...

Snow and More Snow and Then Some

I have had a cold the last couple of days...c so sweet and brought me OJ from the store; she even sholved my path from the front door to my car...that was about 3:00 pm and now it is all covered with snow again...I have not been out of the house since Thursday....the only footprints I can see outside have been made by Opie...sweet soft princess of a feline. I took my first oral exam via a voice mail...I think I did ok...a different way of testing, I must say...being a student has been very interesting to learn more about teaching techniques and how students today are responding...had a big error re my checking account yesterday re t...i called her and we actually were talking in a pleasant manner. that felt good; they had depoisted her $ into my account...so wf will be taking care of it this week...did not go to l or uu today; just did not feel good. ...thanks for cold pills...less coughing as least. The pix is Window Rock, Arizona where I lived when I was a teenager...I actually walked on the sandstone...from the other side...nite nite

Voting and Reading: What a Day

It was hard but I did it! The debates are currently on and it is like watching the past and the future; we actually need both perspectives! I want HC to win but I just don't think it will happen....the wave in our country to hear someone who gives us a sense of hope is what we need after the demise of our country by litte liteb...so, it will be a very interesting few days...Super Tuesday is only a few days away....I was so happy to vote today; I did my civic duty toward making our democracy work...little as that is; it is! Go vote! I am starting to read Oprah's new book: A New Earth:Awakening to Your Life's Purpose". I also signed up at midnight to join her classroom on-line with the author, Eckhart Tolle....SHOUD BE GOOD! Go Read! nite nite

Letting My House Talk Today

Yes, living in a large house can present problems one would rather ignore...1. just noticed the wooden fence on the right side of the house is falling down; 2. the furnace is sounding odd (when it stops it kinda goes "boom"); 3 the front drainage is nonexistent (so by it being frozen right now lessens its priority); 4. the carpet in my office and the bedroom are for the DUMP; 5. THEN THERE IS THE LIVING ROOM WITH NO FLOOR EXCEPT A PAINTED (UGLY) GREY WOODEN FLOOR..this was one of t's ideas that never came came to a positive conclusion (except to say it is STILL NOT DONE); and I am sure there are things I still have not NOTICED NOR DO I WANT TO NOTICE...so, the joys of owning a house! So, where do I start...I think having someone come in to check the furnace would be the best place cuz I will freeze without it....the other things are more cosmetic....and the drainage can wait until there is something except ice to drain...like spring....I have been shoving the snow in the front and yesterday it took an hour (so thanks to t who kept the snow blower in spite of not using it at c)(another selfish act)...so, besides being physically tired I have an exam tonight in my Spanish class....so, enough about ME...this blog can serve many purposes and today it is to GIVE A VOICE TO ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. So, if you have read this far you must really love me or you are crazy...I hope it is the former....someone said "art is like running away from home"; so back to my altered art projects....so I have to "alter" my house but just can't do it RIGHT NOW; but the main difference between t and I is THAT I WILL DO IT. What a disappointment she has been....and don't get me started re libby. I love you Libby, if you could read this you would know that; I have not forgotten you...I am trying to forget t but I will never forget you and I hope I will see you soon................thank you to all the friends who have been there for me during all of this....

Hola-Hasta Manana

Spanish 101 requires homework....I like doing the excercies cuz I really want to learn how to speak it....it will be wonderful to converse with those all around me...when I listen to the radio I can understand more each day...nite or buenos nochas....yo tango tres gatos...I think that means cats...hope so.

Charlotte's New House:2008

A Statement about Building New Houses:

Imagine yourself as a living house. Goddess comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what She is doing. She is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently She starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is She up to? The explanation is that She is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but She is building a palace. She intends to come and live in it Herself.

From C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity **gender changed to protect the innocent.

Of course I give credit to Z for helping too.

Thank you Goddess: It is Over!

Signed the legal papers today....at 1:15 pm....so it is all over! I am so happy; she is not who I knew before and I am glad not to be associated with her anymore. She has turned into her father, an ole bitter, hateful, mean, and spiteful person. I love u Libby; I have not forgotten you.....I will be walking through new doors and a new life.....I have already....! Thank you to all the angels who have guided me so far and especially to l1 and l2......nite nite--baby son is on my keyboard...so cute.

Doorways Full of Life and Love

why can't we have all 3 of them...hcboje...???? hola, buenas noches...y....mi llama es carlota...just started to learn about Spanish so be patient with me; play play with photoshop...a new door for me! I have earned a NEW DOOR IN 2008, later

Blue Tile: Searching for a Beauty

I think this tile is so pretty; I love this color....just playing now...Baby Son is on my files next to my keyboard...napping...I want to nap too. bye

ikea---what a place to shop and drop

the retreat went pretty well; new people on the project so that will take some time; drove home tonight so I could be in my own bed with my own "kids" ---my jaw is still hurting so I am going to go see the dentist next week.

got 2 pretty quilt covers and pillow cases; very modern colors and designs; silky satin pillow cases; so just tired and want to go to bed early for a change. later

(this is the first video I am posting) Actually this is not of the "kids" but

the back yard in reveiew in the summer; nice trees. I did find one

of sweet Ruby---she is kinda quiet.

Warm and Beautiful

no, i am not talking about myself...just kidding....i am in Phx at a NACRP retreat and this is my first trip out of flag for sometime....very nice to be somewhere it is so warm and DIFFERENT. I want to go to mecca "ikea"....tomorrow. we are working on the revision of our proposal with some new individuals so that will be interesting considering new personalities and chemisry stuff....love my room, a mini suite so it makes it much more pleasant. so, off to the retreat and our first big day of REAL WORK. later,

thank you hp for letting me really see tonight

adios, t---someone said to me "you lost xxxx" and I said "no, I gained myself"...that is all there is....good nite

Spanish r us....or Spanish 101

Decided to take a Spanish class at Coconino Community College so tonight was the second class. The teacher is pretty funny and there are about 20 in the class. So, we will see.......I really want to keep up the Spanish I learned last fall and know how to communicater with Hispanic people who live in Flag and of course many other places. Adios....cero....zero....cool word. So I have homework for next week; hasta mecroles. Until Wednesday...I actually took Spanish at Prescott College in 1970!!!! How time flies.

i miss libby

it is really terrible but t is not letting me see my dog, Libby; we lost Ruby in Nov and now t is keeping l from me------------------can't believe she is being so cruel and mean. she divorced me and has become another person, who I don't know anymore. so sad. i love u libby.

Let It Be

a playful dog is running after his owner in the deep snow outside my office window at nau....jumping, running, and playing...wish I could be that dog for a minute or two....the semester is almost here; classes start on Monday....one online course and lots of writing on a community outrech program proposal...so, let it begin....the sun is setting and the long dark shadows are growing across the grassy knoll. let it be...let me be....let it be....

hello

Art Is Now

Started a new online class called "Got Paint?" with Big Picture Scrapbooking; played with several paints tonight: dark blue, gold, yellow, light blue, purple and gesso...developed a beginning art journal for the class;I have taken paint classes previously but I am always open to learning more each day. Some doors close and others open........doors are my theme this year....busy day with many calls, letters, and conversations. L1 said the word "intellectual imagination"---she is so creative and energized. Said hi to h too. Self care needs to be my main goal from now on...have to get my on-line class finished for this next semester. Not too much to do. Barack Obama is on his way to the white house---"house of color"! He sounds like a post Kennedy visionary minister/healer. Our country needs his skills, intellect, and poise. He is a global post race leader. Politics are so interesting. Prayers for t and i for future forgiveness, love, and acceptance of our lives together and our lives going in different directions; it has been a really hard couple of weeks for both of us. Blessing to her in her new life. May the HP help both of us during these times of difficulty and tension. Namaste! Namaste!

Laura's Maui Sea Shore Hands Filled with Art

Sure having fun tonight with all the techniques and tools that are available with Photoshop....as a new friend said to me today "you alter anything"; I would have to say "yes, I do and I love it"...so this image was drawn with color pencils in Maui on her 10 day trip with her lovely daughter and hubby; it was on her blog site tonight so guess what "I altered it" ....what do you think L? I have started a new book with images of doors so if you have any please send them to me; my new symbol for the upcoming year....last year it was calendars but now it it DOORS.

Laura

Laura

Laura

Old Door (2007): New Door:2008

Very compelling week re future decisions..."All Good Things Must Come to an End"--new memories every day and re contextualization of my former life. The last day of the year....how ironic....the opposite situation of last year...I took a workshop for the majority of the year called "A Year To Remember"; little did I know what the impact of this title would be to my own life; More like a "Year to Forget". Gave l2 a photo shop image of a mushroom coming up from the underworld and now it is glowing with life and diamonds; a new path from death to life. Thanks to all of you who have made my life bearable considering the depth of pain, hurt, disappointment this has been; the word trust will never be the same nor commitment. As I have stated several times "Never in a Million Years" did I think this would happen....boy/girl I was wrong...my new life will be wonderful and my heart will heal...forgiveness is another topic, quite frankly...it is a process. I have to forgive myself first as to all the mistakes I have made; promises I did not keep; nor love I did not show. I...open doors.....I....opening.....I.....loving.....I.....giving....I going forward...that will be my lesson for this next year.

ode to ecee

All I can say is thank you very much about million times....just finished with 2 more options re future. Since 7 am....later

Merry Christmis--2007

I am happy today is going to be a memory tomorrow...went to c for dinner with t,a,b,etc.L3 called me this am...fun to talk with her...she is so interesting. had to leave c early since I had a terrible stomach ache...too much rich food. cleaned the house this am; woke up to cat pee in my bed...what a fun way to wake up; my eyes were not even open...so started to do launry at 6 am.....my little tree is so sweet and has been very pleasant to look at for the last couple of weeks...my lights are cute too. went to uu service last night at cc/that was so hard, I loved the music so that helped a lot...c and b were there; we all went to denneys for post service treats; the moon was beautiful...l1 called me from h today and I could hear the ocean in the background....I wore the medicine bag she sent me with the silver angel in it....it was 7 months yesterday and I had a 2.5 hour meeting with her yesterday with w...so hard. it will be over and and I will get through this too..i am loved and i love myself...nite

In between time: Solstice (sun + wait)

Worry is not necessary. Spend an equal amount of time counting blessings. Start with your childhood. Take the time to remember to really appreciate each blessing, absorb it and think of all the good effects it has had on you and others. Don't overlook the ordinary. There are a thousand blessings in every moment, if you look. Each breath and heartbeat, every color, texture, taste, smell.A lifetime of blessings, beauty, love. Thankfulness is like water. Allow yourself the release, the cleansing, the quenching that gratefulness brings. Mary Lee Bonasera Matthews : (from aliedwardsblog) The last few days have been so hard emotionally for me and I want to bless all my friends [you know who u r] who have listened to me over and over again...trying to make sense (cents) of it...This poem is so true....this too will be over and I can get on with my own life as a loving independent person.

Medicine Bag

l1 sent me a beautiful medicine bag which is handmade of dark purple velvet with dark brown, green, orange, and blue beads with a round dark green stone surrounded with more colorful beads in the center of the bag; so yummy--it arrived on a day that has been quite scary, empowering, crazy--with surprises-I have had some fun talking with a new friend--lots of laughing and that is what I need! lots of love and support from my many angels....went to Target and bought 9.99 worth of kitchen items; got my 3 classes all graded and the grades posted! yea another semester done! i have to get the on-line class ready for spring but that should not take too long...ali gave me two presents to put under my tree...they look so beautiful...she is taking my car to pick up her son in Phx tomorrow---so I will have time to walk and do more fixing my house up....tiny things but everything helps..maybe take the bus to town and walk down there...clean my office? who knows; it will be and so will I.